Persepolis Essay Corrections

First Draft

A “single” story is the first story you hear about something and that is automatically your point of view on the subject. The stories about Iran are filled with many single stories and Persepolis has a couple. The problem with single stories is that they are not always facts and you can’t truly know something until you witness it first hand instead of just hearing it. “The Key” is a single story in The Complete Persepolis because it shows Iranian schools as religiously unstable and Iranian students as people that constantly rebel when in reality most of the schools in Iran are perfectly stable and structured.

            In “The Key”, Marjane describes her school as a place that she and her classmates do not take seriously and the teachers have ridiculous rules and make the students do unnecessary stuff. This gives the reader the intention that all schools in Iran are like this. When Marjane describes how she deals with the torture sessions she says, “After a little while, no one took the torture sessions seriously anymore. As for me, I immediately started making fun of them”(97). This gives the reader the idea that schools in Iran are almost ridiculous and that nobody obeys the religious ceremonies there. Not all schools in Iran are like this and not everyone rebels against the religious rules.

                  Another example in “The Key” is how the headmaster is described as this serious lady who dedicates her life to the rules of the religious empire. All the parents of the students are called into a meeting about their children’s behavior and she exclaims “ Anyway, that’s how it is! Either they obey the law or they’re expelled!!”(98) The headmasters sternness makes the reader feel like all headmasters of schools are just people who get disrespected and take things much too seriously. The reader experiences the headmaster as an enemy to the kids and a pretty unjust and bad person. The view of teachers in Iran is a single story and not all teachers in Iran are like this.

                  Single stories are everywhere. We all have single stories about people, places, and everything else. The only way to know the truth is to witness something first hand and not just go off by what you hear from other sources. Persepolis is told from a single person’s point of view and it is biased off what they experienced. Millions of people read this book and all have this point of view of Iran when in reality it is not all like this.

Second Draft

                   A “single” story is the first story you hear about something and that is automatically your point of view on the subject. The stories about Iran are filled with many single stories and Persepolis has a couple. The book is about a girl growing up in Iran as a minority to religious rule. The whole book is basically a single story on Iran and shows the point of view of a girl growing up there. The problem with single stories is that they are not always facts and you can’t truly know something until you witness it first hand instead of just hearing it. “The Key” is a single story in The Complete Persepolis because it shows Iranian schools as religiously unstable and Iranian students as people that constantly rebel when in reality most of the schools in Iran are perfectly stable and structured.

            In “The Key”, Marjane describes her school as a place that she and her classmates do not take seriously and the teachers have ridiculous rules and make the students do unnecessary stuff. This gives the reader the intention that all schools in Iran are like this. When Marjane describes how she deals with the torture sessions she says, “After a little while, no one took the torture sessions seriously anymore. As for me, I immediately started making fun of them”(97). This gives the reader the idea that schools in Iran are almost ridiculous and that nobody obeys the religious ceremonies there. Not all schools in Iran are like this and not everyone rebels against the religious rules. This comes from current events where people are getting along in Iran just fine.

                  Another example in “The Key” is how the headmaster is described as this serious lady who dedicates her life to the rules of the religious empire. All the parents of the students are called into a meeting about their children’s behavior and she exclaims “ Anyway, that’s how it is! Either they obey the law or they’re expelled!!”(98) The headmasters sternness makes the reader feel like all headmasters of schools are just people who get disrespected and take things much too seriously. The reader experiences the headmaster as an enemy to the kids and a pretty unjust and bad person. The view of teachers in Iran is a single story and not all teachers in Iran are like this. My evidence comes from books all around the world showing how teachers in Iran are normal and gives a good education to children.

                  Single stories are everywhere. We all have single stories about people, places, and everything else. The only way to know the truth is to witness something first hand and not just go off by what you hear from other sources. Persepolis is told from a single person’s point of view and it is biased off what they experienced. Millions of people read this book and all have this point of view of Iran when in reality it is not all like this.

    Commentary:

I corrected my essay due to some mistakes I had missed while I was writing it. I didn't really notice that some of the stuff I said didn't actually have textual evidence so I made sure to add that in. In the first paragraph I forgot to mention background about the actual book and what it was all about. I added a sentence or two to fill in the reader about the background of the book. Now I am proud of my work because I was even proud of my first draft but having done the corrections I am confident that this draft will stand out. These corrections will help me better prepare for next time because I will know what to look out for when I'm writing.